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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me being her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest assisting her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an audience. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my version of living actively: noticing the nuances, posting them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the work we create together can get us: an opening. I understand not all people likes being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal videographer, but companions help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a clip here or there would be fun for Beth. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I value our friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She must to honor her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their bond?